Things George Washington and Others May Have Said

One of my friends posted a misquote of an actual quote from George Washington in favor of an individual's right to bear arms. The misquote is "A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government." The actual quote is from George Washington's First State of the Union, and it goes like this: "A free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a uniform and well-digested plan is requisite; and their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories as tend to render them independent of others for essential, particularly military, supplies." If my reading comprehension serves, it sounds like he is calling on Congress to rev up the Military/Industrial Complex, not for Joe Sixpack to stuff his house with small arms.
I could go several directions in this blog:

• In 1790, they just got the freaking government going, would George Washington actually advocate the individual citizenry being well armed so that he could be overthrown by the same citizenry if necessary?
• If a person advocates a position based on a false quote or faked evidence, how credible is this person's position?
• My friend(the quote poster) is a policeman, does he really want everyone armed to the teeth?
• If George Washington referred to the U.S Government in 1790, would he have meant Us instead of Them? Who do you shoot if you don't like the government in a functioning democracy? If the government is Them now, is this still a good country to live in?
• Did the U.S. Civil War create an Us and Them in terms of government, a dichotomy that still exists depending on your own personal viewpoint? Does this explain the desire for authoritarian hierarchy in the mind of a politically conservative individual, but also the hatred of the authority figure/hierarchy who was not chosen by that same individual, even though that person's vote was counted and the election was fairly decided and legal?
• Are We the People still an Us? Was it ever? Will it ever be if it wasn't?

These are interesting questions, some are almost philosophical in nature. Since I'm not sure I can do service to these topics, I decided to go in a completely different direction by making up better quotes than the gun lobby misquote from above. Here it goes, the following are some made up quotations that actually make sense and are at least historically possible:

• Martha, where are the rolling papers? The yellow ones, dear, this crop of sticky icky is truly the chronic. - George Washington
• This Sorghum tastes like Alexander Hamilton's brown-eye. - John Adams
• An ounce of beaver fat to polish the outhouse throne will prevent a bleeding by the barber for an infected boil from a three inch splinter in the arse. - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac - The Director's Cut
• Pass the Sorghum, sirrah! - Abigail Adams
• Is that human being for sale? How much? That sounds kind of high, I don't know. Could you throw in the butter churn and the yarn de-woolinator as well? - Thomas Jefferson
• And if this Union should last, I would pray that Providence will deliver to the future generations the strength and will to make up things we said to promote logically fallacious arguments in service of a post-radical reactionary agenda. Amen. - Horner Vanderhoeven

Etc. Add your own in the comments, the best one(judged by me at my discretion when I get a moment) gets a six-pack of empty Diet Dr. Pepper cans.

A Solution to the Euro Crisis

A sovereign currency needs a sovereign government and vice versa.

The current manufactured crisis in Europe exposes a similar but opposite situation that existed in the era of the pre-constitutional Articles of Confederation government of the United States of America. The Articles of Confederation established a Nation that was unable to make and spend money easily. It only took roughly 10 years for people to realize that an ineffective, broke, and decentralized government was a sure path to disaster, and a constitutional convention was called for that eventually established the current governmental institutions of the United States. The U.S., now a country of over 300 million people, is the financial bedrock of a world inhabited by almost 7 billion people.

On the other side of the mirror, we have the European Union, an entity that can issue currency freely but is populated by countries that despite being financially locked in(burdened or otherwise), they are not emotionally invested in the preservation of that same Union. From this comparison, a possible solution logically emerges. The European Union, if it is to continue, requires a weakening of its member states, and a strengthening of the central body that makes decisions. The EU needs a federal constitution that establishes a strong central government. The Euro will not last otherwise.

An Interesting Observation And a Moderately Preachy Conclusion

The holiday season is here, with its crushing depression, frigid weather, and overspending. To celebrate these wonderful gifts, I decided to make sugar cookies from scratch with my daughters. We had quite a bit of fun doing this, and the cookies came out great. They were much better than I'm used to, because a lot of people buy the corporate cookie dough and make about 50 dozen cookies in various shapes, possibly thinking that the shape is the point rather than a melt-in-your-mouth delicious sugar cookie. What was interesting to me was how the girls worked together based on their sense of fairness in relation to other human beings.

I wanted to let the girls experiment with the process as much as possible so they might figure out why a certain thing is done at a certain time, so I took on a supervisory role. I wouldn't recommend doing this if you need to get done quickly, especially since you have to wait two hours for the dough to chill. At some point we decided to make three batches of dough. With enough equipment and flat surface space, I might have tried three parallel processes, but because our operation was small, I had to go with serial batch production. From a process perspective, we were back in the pre-industrial revolution artisan workshop era. This yielded some delicious cookies and some amateur social science.

So with three girls and one batch of dough, the problem is one of full participation. Each girl wanted to be a part of every step in the process. The girls solved this quickly in their own way. Three cups of flour meant that each girl did a scoop, one cup of sugar meant three one-third cups of sugar, 3/4 teaspoons of baking powder was three 1/4 teaspoons, and so on until eventually all of the dry and wet ingredients were in a mixing bowl. Since we were doing three batches, each girl had a turn at mixing. We did this part of the process three times with flavor variation and eventually we had three good looking blobs of sugar cookie dough.

The first blob of dough was eventually ready for rolling and cutting which was when I made my first connection with a general observation: the girls were motivated by their own selfish instincts. Their sense of fairness was directed inward and it informed them of how to start the process. Each girl selfishly wanted full participation, and in took the form of dividing a cup into thirds, or three cups into one each, then it became dividing the 12 cutters to four each and then it became a fair number of cuts per child and so on. The fairness itself became draconian and oppressive and inherently inefficient. "You mixed last time, it's my turn" or "Cut here, I only did three, there's no room" or "Don't stand there, I can't see" nearly continuously. When one child was mixing, the other two were critics. "Push down harder" or "You missed that flour" or "Don't hold it that way, asshole!" The joy of making some sweet cookies was lost in a cacophony of bitterness and resentment for some moments. I tried to help them keep it together and we managed to eventually roll out, cut, decorate, bake, and redecorate some really good cookies. They did get better at it and a little more laid back after the first batch. I began to wonder what it would be like if their motivations for fairness were directed outward rather than inward. This led to some broader thinking for me, something surprising that came from a relatively simple holiday ritual.

When we seek justice only for ourselves or those who are extremely close to us, everyone who isn't helping us is a potential enemy. We may get what we ultimately want, but are the benefits worth the sourness and spitefulness required to meet our selfish needs? What makes a person stop worrying about his or her own needs and start worrying whether the other person is being treated fairly? It was obvious that children don't easily figure this out on their own, they are taught this. There is a spectrum of behavior between selfishness and altruism. Most of us fall in the middle somewhere. The girls found fairness by being selfish and parts of the process were miserable. If I wasn't there to act as arbitrator, one child or another may have dominated the proceedings, selfishly hoarding the process and the cookies. They rejected the joy of human interaction at first but the cookies came out the same from a quality perspective.

There is a similar situation in society at large and it seems to define our social strata. There are those who can't get enough and there is seemingly no arbitrator that will get them to stop grabbing everything in sight. There are those who get enough but feel bad for those who aren't treated fairly and resent those who take more than their share. There are those who get enough and don't feel bad for those who aren't treated fairly and admire those who grab everything in sight. Lastly, there are those who don't get enough and don't have a voice so it doesn't matter how they feel or who they resent or admire. It doesn't have to be this way, even though it always has been. When someone mentions social justice, this is what they mean, justice directed outward instead of inward.

How do we learn to be who we are? Why are some of us able to let go of our sense of selfish justice and embrace seeking justice for others? Are all human beings deserving of love, happiness, and adequate provisions? Merry Christmas.

What's Up With You?

Things are going really well lately.  A lot of that may be attitude, but I have to say that I'm having more than my usual share of blessings the last few weeks.  I'm very thankful for the chances I've had, and I'm thankful knowing that there are more opportunities to come.

You may be thinking, "Way to go, jackass, what about the rest of us?  We're still slogging away, getting nowhere, knowing that nothing of much consequence will ever happen again, and it never did before anyway, so take your positive attitude and cram it."

Well, I'm not here to just say things are great with me, although they are right now.  And believe me, experience has taught me to look tentatively over my shoulder at some future imminent unknown mayhem coming my way. I have been low many times before, and I'll be low again, and we all know how this game ends.  But NOW is so wonderful.  I don't want to waste any experience or fail to value whatever human beings are in my life at this particular moment.

So what's the secret?  I think this little wave of OK-ness started back in February during my annual physical exam.  Besides the obvious joy of not being subjected to a digital rectal exam this year, my doctor asked me a throwaway question, something like, "So, anything else you want to tell me?"

I replied, "Well, Doc, I am bone-tired all of the time.  Just can't seem to get going."

"Well, why don't we schedule a sleep study, maybe you're not getting enough rest."

He was dead on.  I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea.  Apparently, I had a semi-awakening 37 times per hour.  The sleep doctor said that was like having someone sit by the bed and choke you every minute and a half or so, you just don't know they are there.  And they choke you all night long.  After a while, it really gets to you.  No amount of sleep is enough.  I couldn't think straight, stay awake without coffee, and I was on a slow train to a heart attack or stroke.

I very nearly cried (not really because I'm a serious hard-ass) when I found out I could do something for my constant fatigue.  I was eager to get my CPAP machine and looked forward to a good night's rest every night.  I didn't really know how good that was until the last two nights when Irene knocked the power out.  I didn't have my blessed breathing machine.  Just two days, and the old fatigue started showing up again.  I didn't want to get up this morning.  The power came back last night at 2:15 AM, and I did get a few hours of CPAP sleep, but it wasn't enough for the deficit I had already accumulated.  So, tonight, while waiting for the sleepy feeling, I was compelled to write about happiness and maybe think about what has me up lately.  I attribute it to a willingness to find a solution, and having found a solution, to embrace the solution fully.  Of course, this health change is coupled with some other serendipitous events and attitude changes, but I believe it set me up for more good down the road.

What is bringing you down?  Find out what it is and try to fix it, even if you think it's no big deal.  Then watch in amazement as the doors start to open again.

I apologize for the first world problem nature of this particular blog.  I wish everyone in the world just had these sorts of issues to deal with. There's no comparison to a person living with war, hunger, disease, rape, and oppression on a daily basis.  We're damn lucky to live in this country and to have what we do. Let's try to make ourselves worthy of the blessings given to us.

8/30/2011

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buttcracksandwich.com Logo Design Contest

Attention:  buttcracksandwich.com needs a logo.

If you are a Graphic Designer, think you are a Graphic Designer, or aren't a Graphic Designer, YOU are eligible to participate in the buttcracksandwich.com Logo Design Contest.

Prizes:

• Winner gets 3% of all future (as long as I own the blog) buttcracksandwich.com merchandising profits.  Merchandising profits are merchandising revenues minus merchandising expenses.


• Winner gets to be in on the ground floor of probably the best blog ever.


• 2nd place through 5th place will receive Honorable Mentions and I will display your designs and link to your website to help generate interest in your artwork or whatever you need to advertise.


• Gain instant notoriety in the topsy-turvy world of Graphic Design.  I can't promise it, but it seems likely the winner will be the new Saul Bass.

Rules:

• Contest entry assumes a non-complaining, non-suing compliance with these rules.


• Offer ends on 9/15/2011.


• Winners will be announced on 9/22/2011.


• Winner must be willing to give up the trademark to me, J. Scott Davis, owner of Buttcracksandwich Enterprises.


• Send entry artwork to jscottdavis0@gmail.com


• Must be 18 or older to participate.

Judging Guidelines:

• I was thinking something like a sandwich with a bite taken out of it that looks like a capital B and also a butt.


• Not crude but cute.


• Iconic.


• Something that is scalable in size and looks good large and small.


• Colors that make sense.


• A symbol that says buttcracksandwich without words (words and letters are allowed).

Tell your friends, co-workers, casual lovers, fellow lodge brothers, relatives, and/or local landed gentry to get on board and make the buttcracksandwich.com logo the bestest ever.

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